Gaslighting: A Destructive Form of Manipulation

Do you ever feel like you cannot trust your own judgment? Perhaps you used to be confident, but now you doubt your memories and perceptions thanks to someone in your life. This could be a sign of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic that can be incredibly destructive.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that chips away at your sense of reality. Abusers use lies, denial, and manipulation to make you question your own judgment, memories, and even sanity. Their goal? To gain power and control over you.

How does gaslighting work?

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that erodes your sense of reality over time. It begins subtly, like a slow poison. The abuser might plant seeds of doubt by denying what they clearly said or did. They could twist events to make you question your own memory and sanity. To further confuse you, they might act loving at times, creating a confusing back-and-forth. This constant manipulation chips away at your confidence, making you doubt what you think. Ultimately, the abuser aims to control you by making you dependent on them for validation.

What are the signs of gaslighting?

Gaslighting, recognized as a form of emotional abuse, has the insidious capability of corroding one’s sense of self within the context of any relationship.

A key sign involves the abuser steadfastly denying their own words or actions, even when confronted with evidence, and simultaneously invalidating your emotions by labelling them as “overly sensitive.”

The gaslighter excels at diverting accountability, adeptly positioning themselves as the victim while portraying you as the guilty party.

Another red flag is their attempt to isolate you from your support network, fostering increased dependence on them.

The constant flow of criticism, targeting your decisions, appearance, or capabilities, gradually undermines your confidence.

Also, watch out for the sneaky behavior where they pretend to be a victim, using guilt trips and emotional tricks to make you think that it is your job to take care of them.

Recognising these signs is crucial in order to safeguard your mental and emotional well-being from the corrosive effects of gaslighting.

The damage of gaslighting

Gaslighting can have a devastating impact on your mental health. It can lead to anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and low self-esteem. You might start to feel helpless, hopeless, and unable to trust your own judgment.

How to fight back

If you find yourself in a situation where you suspect gaslighting, it is important to fight back. Firstly, trust your gut and do not let them make you doubt yourself. Keep track of everything that happens—write it down or save messages to have proof of their behavior. Having people who support you is crucial—talk to friends, family, or a therapist about what is going on. Also, establish clear boundaries to keep yourself safe—this could mean distancing yourself from the person causing problems or even cutting ties completely if necessary. This is how you stand up to gaslighting and take control back.

The concluding remark

Remember, you are not crazy. Gaslighting is a form of abuse, and it is important to get help if you are experiencing it.

 
Rehnuma Mahajabin

Rehnuma Mahajabin is a Bangladeshi Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) student currently studying at Brac University. She was born in Chandpur and completed her HSC at Chandpur Government Girls' College. She is very passionate about journalism, animation, and web development. She anticipates creating her own animation company and excelling as an animator in the near future.

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